These Are the Days We Remember
by TheNewIdea
Summary: In which Brian, Chris, Stewie and Meg look into Brian's genealogy, find a treasure map that leads to the City of Gold, get lost in the Indian jungle and somehow manage to survive long enough to go to space to see if the Moon is really made of cheese, if aliens exist and to answer life's biggest question: "How is Seamus still alive?"
1. Part One: The Genealogy of Brian Griffin

**Part One**

**"The Genealogy of Brian Griffin"**

Present Day

Quahog, Rhode Island

3:30 pm

Brian opened the closet door and took out a medium sized box from the top shelf. Inside this box were various pictures, a journal, a pocket watch, a tape recorder and ten tapes. The tapes were addressed to Brian when he hit various stages in life. At the moment, he was just starting tape four.

Brian took the box to the kitchen table and began looking through the pictures trying to find meaning behind them. He wondered why he didn't think about this before; he guessed that those things didn't matter; now they did.

"So this is what Dad looked like" Brian said to himself as he stared at a shaggy looking dog that was otherwise identical to him. "Looking good Pop...now where's Mom?"

Brian continued flipping through the pictures until he found one that had his mother in it. the only reason that he recognized her at all was because his Dad was also in the picture. They were standing in front of a farm house in appeared to be Texas. From the looks of things it was a few years before Brian was born.

Brian turned the picture over to see if he could find a date or perhaps a name as to where the farm was. There was nothing.

"Well" Brian said to himself, "That's what makes it fun I suppose."

Brian set the pictures aside and turned to the tape recorder. He shook his head and smiled as he thought about how far technology had come since the days of tape recorders, but still he was grateful for it. He put in the fourth tape and listened.

Brian's mother could be heard on the tape, the parents alternating between each one with the father starting first.

I think that he's done enough talking don't you?

Brian laughed, he loved that his mother had a sense of humor that surpassed his own. It made him proud of his parents even more than he already was.

By now you probably have a lot of questions Brian. You're wondering where to go from here. Well you're old enough now that I don't have to tell you, but I will give you some good advice and a place to go should you need it.

Brian leaned intently, pulling out a notepad and a pencil to write down the information

The farm in the picture is McNealy, outside Austin, Texas. I don't know if McNealy will even be alive by the time you're listening to this but if he is just tell him that you're our son. He'll let you stay.

Brian wrote down McNealy Farm and Austin, Texas. He let the recording continue.

Once you've settled down there's a few things that you should know about the land. It's good for farming, not oil; you know what they say about Texas-

Brian fast forwarded through this part, having no interest in oil, although he would keep the farming in mind.

Good luck son. Don't listen to the next tape until five years from now. Love you

The recording stopped. Brian took the fourth tape and placed it back with the others. He then placed the fifth tape inside and closed the recorder. Once this was done, Brian put the recorder back in the box and left it alone.

Meg, Chris and Stewie walked in from school. Stewie was just old enough to officially ride the bus, even though he had been technically doing it for years. They were just about to walk up to their respective rooms and do whatever it is that they do after school when they saw Brian sitting at the kitchen table going over what appeared to be a family tree.

"What in the devil are you doing?" Stewie asked as he walked over

Brian was wearing reading glasses looking over a large family tree as well as several books that had scraps of information retaining to his descendants. Brian had gathered these before he went to the closet, placing them underneath the table for relative safekeeping.

"Genealogy Stewie" Brian answered

"Genealogy" Stewie replied, "What's that?"

"The study of family history" Meg answered, "I had to do it once for a school project. Traced it all the back to the 1700s-"

Brian nodded cutting her off at the same time. Brian got his back to the American Revolution. Apparently he had a relative who fought in every war in American history, ending with his father, who was a pacifist.

"Why are you doing this Brian?" Chris asked curiously

Brian shook his head, he honestly had no idea. It just felt right somehow.

"Because I never really thought about it before Chris" Brian answered, "And I think I should know my family history."

Meg shrugged, "Yeah but you're a dog. That doesn't bring a lot of opportunities for greatness you know."

Brian sighed, for it was true, there was almost no one in his line who did anything great. Even the ones who fought in the wars barely did anything, at least according to what the books and what he's heard from Jasper and various other family members. Still Brian found it credible and honorable that his family contributed to such a cause and that was greatness in itself.

Brian slowly turned to the journal. The first page was labeled, December 10th, 1777, Valley Forge.

"Interesting" Brian said to no one in particular, "Valley Forge..."

Chris, Meg and Stewie leaned in trying to read the name underneath the label- William Sebastian Moore.

"What a strange name for a dog" Meg exclaimed, "Why would anyone name their dog that?"

Brian shrugged, "He must be named after somebody. Moore must be his owner's last name."

"That doesn't make any sense" Chris argued, "Why would the dog also take the last name of the owner? That's just stupid."

Brian gave Chris a glaring look, "Chris" Brian began, "You do realize that that's exactly what I did right?"

Chris shrugged and said nothing.

Stewie turned to Brian with an excited look on his face

"Read it to us?" he begged

Brian shook his head, "No. I'd rather do this on my own thanks."

Meg huffed, "Come on Brian, let us help you. It'll be fun. Besides we never get to do anything with just the four of us."

Chris nodded in agreement, "Yeah, it'll be great. We can find out who this William guy is. That's as good a place to start as any."

Brian shook his head in disagreement, "Why not just start with the farm?" he suggested, "We know where it is, we know where to go once we get there. It'll be easy."

Stewie shook his head, "That's at the end Brian, the end. You have to start at the beginning, going into the unknown."

Brian was about to say that it was actually the exact opposite, you work your way backwards, starting with yourself and move on down the line. Before he could say anything though, he got deadpan stares from Stewie, Chris and Meg, shutting him up.

"Alright fine" Brian relented as he stood up, "Let's go."

Brian headed into the living room and sat on the couch, the others followed him.


	2. Chapter 2

**December 10th, 1777**

**The Journal of William Sebastian Moore**

**Valley Forge Camp, Pennsylvania**

**10:00 am**

The men are starting to waver. I'm doing all that I can, trying to be the good dog and be comforting, but it is of little use. It seems that only God can help us now.

The preacher, John Thomas, is the only one who believes that our cause is not in vain. That freedom can be obtained. I only wish that some of his optimism would rub off on me.

The men have taken to calling me Scabby; I assume it's a misnomer. Hopefully it doesn't stick.

As I look out from the hut I can see small groups of little campfires going in and out of various stages of being actual fires, most of them were sparks now. To my right is another hut; to my left is the General's tent. I have half a mind to ask him when the provisions would be arriving, but such questions are pointless at this stage, the weather would keep even one such as me with my fur coat inside the whole winter.

It is clear to me now, we are on our own.

Leland, the officer in charge of the hut, who also happened to be a giant chicken, came into the hut and looked around. Most of the men were sleeping, reading up on techniques or doing meaningless chores.

"Gentleman" Leland barked, "Eyes wiped, noses clean, balls on, asses wiped and ears up!"

Leland would always get our attention with this every morning.

"We've got orders people" Leland continued, "The General wants us to build some fortifications along the east side, once that's done its musket training in the fields. Let's go boys, move, move, move!"

For some reason I was rushed into this, which was weird considering that I wasn't technically a soldier, my only job description was comforting the men, spreading joy and cheer and to be the happiest guy in the room. Easier said than done at this place that's for damn sure.

**The Griffin Living Room**

"Wow" Stewie said indifferently, "Your ancestor is really, really boring."

Brian rolled his eyes; he had a feeling that Stewie was going to be that way. Meg and Chris however seemed relatively interested.

"He said that Leland was a giant chicken?" Meg asked for clarification, "Do you think that he could be related to Ernie?"

Brian shrugged, "Don't know" he replied, "But there's only one way to find out."

Brian pulled up his phone and dialed 3, Ernie's speed dial number and patiently waited.

Brian's relationship with Ernie was very simple. They met at a restaurant, Brian was angry at Peter at the time for trying to get him to forcibly accept Christ. Ernie arrived at the restaurant alone having recently gotten over a divorce, the cause of the divorce being Peter. Brian and Ernie sat at tables directly across from each other, they started talking. It turns out that Brian and Ernie had more in common than even they realized. They were both single, they were both lonely and they were both looking for someone to talk to.

Ernie was particularly good at picking up women, especially when it came to women who looked like they participated in bestiality. Both of them got laid that night and they've been drinking buddies and best friends ever since. Ernie, not counting Stewie who couldn't be there for every situation, was Brian's only real friend.

"Hey Ernie" Brian said excitedly, "Come over here man, there's something you gotta see!"

Ernie yawned, a zipper could be heard, "What is it Brian?" the chicken asked, "I'm kinda busy here."

Brian raised his eyebrows, "What are you doing? Are you-?"

"Yes I am" Ernie continued, a sound that sounded like pounding meat could be heard, "Now what do you want?"

Brian shook his head, trying to get the image out of his head and got back on subject. "Do you have an ancestor named Leland? Fought in the Revolution?"

"As in the _American_ Revolution" Ernie asked, "I'm not sure why?"

Brian stood up and began pacing to give him something to do.

"Because I found this journal that belonged to one of my ancestors and it mentions a Leland. He's a giant chicken like you."

The pounding meat sound got more audible and faster with each passing second

"And can you please stop masturbating?" Brian begged, "It's really disgusting when I can hear it over the phone."

Ernie slowly complied but did not stop completely.

"Is Peter there?" Ernie exclaimed cautiously

"No" Brian answered, "He's at work doing overtime, won't be home till 7."

The zipper and the opening of a door could be heard

"Alright I'm on my way" Ernie said as he picked up a coat and a fedora, "See if that ancestor of yours has anything more to say about Leland. I'm going to stop by the library and see what I can pick up. Be there in an hour."

Brian said goodbye to Ernie and hung up the phone.

Chris, Meg and Stewie's mouths were agape, for they heard everything that Ernie was doing as if they were watching it themselves.

"Brian" they said in unison, "Your friend is disgusting."

Brian nodded, "Yes he is" he answered without shame, "Now shall we then?"

They shrugged and made themselves comfortable; they had a feeling that this was going to be a long night.

**December 10th, 1777**

**Valley Forge Outskirts**

**Noon**

Finally got myself a lunch break, Leland can be a slave driver sometimes.

"Sebastian" Leland yelled from across the way.

Leland often switched between using my first, middle and last names depending on how mad he was at me. On a good day it was Sebastian and on a really good day, like after a battle for instance, it was William. When he was drunk it was Scabby like everyone else. When it was my last name, I figured I had about twenty minutes left to live.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Having lunch sir" I answered

"No you ain't" Leland corrected, "You're on dig patrol."

I almost took offense to this, for just because I'm a dog does not mean that I always have to be on dig patrol and second, the bastard was cutting directly into my well deserved lunch. But I didn't argue, for I knew better than that, the last guy who argued with Leland got his eyes pecked out and I had no interest in going blind.

I dug and dug for what seemed like hours. My paws were frozen to the point where I could barely write this, my inkwell is beginning to freeze up; I don't know how much I'll be able to write...

**7:00 pm**

Finally made it a fire and thawed out my paws, my pen and the ink. This day has been more than interesting.

After lunch we built the barricade, this remained relatively uneventful save for the various degrees of frostbite that we all received. In my case I swear that I would've died, for I had no boots to speak of, my fur was of little use to me, the air was so cold that it chilled me to the bone.

When the barricade was done we marched painfully over to the field for musket practice.

Leland, who was good drill sergeant but a poor officer, pulled his sword and ordered us to load. This was difficult for me because as I've said before my only job description was to provide comfort to the men. I've never even touched a gun before in my life.

"Moore!" Leland yelled, "Are you stupid or something? Don't you know how to load a musket?"

I nervously shook my head, "No sir" I replied, "That's not in my job description sir!"

Leland stared at me as if I were mentally insane, "You're in the Continental Army and you don't know how to load a musket!"

I shook my head again, "No sir, you see I'm not a soldier sir. Just a dog, Washington told me that all I had to do was comfort the men, you know, by the moral support and such sir, that's it, nothing more."

Leland slapped me as hard as he could, it was enough to draw blood and bring me to the ground.

"Get up you bastard!" Leland screamed, "You're going to load and unload that musket until you puke musket balls! In fact-"

Leland walked over to a stump about 100 yards away and pulled out an apple.

"You're not to move from that spot until you shoot the apple clean through and off of this stump!"

An impossible task

Leland moved back towards me threateningly, "If I see you move from this spot I will cut off your dick and watch you die...slowly. The world will be a better place without your line in it anyway."

Leland then led the others to another part of the field, leaving me alone to my affairs. I stared at the musket I was holding, the ammo that Leland had set at my feet and the cleaning kit. I saw no point in firing a dirty gun, so I slowly, as if I were caressing it, began to clean. And I cleaned, and I cleaned and I cleaned...

**The Griffin Living Room**

Brian closed the journal, embarrassed that William was a spineless wimp. Stewie, Chris and Meg were all stifling laughs. Brian rolled his eyes knowingly.

"Go ahead" the dog said after a few minutes of silence, "Laugh if you want to."

They took his words and laughed as loud as they possibly could, spit from all of them landed on Brian's fur. Brian shook himself off and took off his reading glasses. He then turned on the TV and turned up the volume, Channel 5 News was on, it was always on. Brian sighed as he drowned out the laughter, closed his eyes and very slowly drifted off to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Twenty Minutes Later

"Wake up!" a voice screamed

Brian jolted from his sleep and looked around, almost wetting himself and the couch in the process. Ernie was looming over him with several books, pictures and a map.

"Ernie" Brian said as he wiped his eyes from sleep, "What did you find?"

Ernie laughed and spread out his books, pictures and the map on the floor.

"This is all the records I could find of Leland and his company." Ernie said, "As well as some other members later down the line. Looks like our families have quite a history together Brian."

Brian nodded and looked over what Ernie had found. He started with the map; it was marked at Yorktown, 1781, the last battle of the American Revolution. Brian wondered if William had fought in the battle, if he lived or if he died.

"Ernie your family is full of dicks" Stewie replied obviously

"Believe me kid" Ernie replied, "I know. I used to be one of em. Brian changed that..."

"You don't have to say it that way" Brian said uncomfortably, "Really you don't."

Ernie nodded and began looking through some of the pictures. Brian returned to the journal to see if he could find any entries related to Yorktown. The only one that came up was the last one.

**September 30th, 1781**

** Yorktown, Virginia**

We have come long and far since Valley Forge. We have finally taken the fight to the Red Coats, victorious in all of our efforts thanks to the graces of God and his blessing. We have the Lord on our side today, I just wish that John Thomas could see us now, may he rest in peace.

Our success is in part to General Washington and in part to Ben Franklin and the French. We owe them a great debt, one that I hope will be reciprocated when the times comes.

I barely survived at Valley Forge. Leland drilled me until I came down with pneumonia from standing in that damned cold for so long. I never want to suffer such cold again. On the upside I have become proficient with a musket and the bayonet. I guess I have a few things to add to my resume.

We'll be heading out soon. Cornwallis is ready to make his move, the Continental Army will answer.

If I die today, then I die fighting for the freedom of America. Elizabeth, if you find this- keep it. Tell my story to our children; tell them that I died a hero. And if I should live, then tell them that I fought like a coward, for the only heroes worth remembering are the ones who take the risks.

Goodbye my love, see you on the other side.

-Will

There was nothing else.

* * *

Brian closed the journal, in a way he was disappointed for he wanted at least someone in his family to be great at something. But he guessed it wasn't meant to be. Like a lot of things in his life, Brian almost had something special, for a lot of people can say that they served in the Army, but very few can distinguish themselves in it.

Stewie, seeing Brian's disappointment, had an idea.

"That does it then" he said, "We're going."

Brian looked confused, for he assumed that this was the end of it, for there was nothing more that could be learned from the journal.

"What's the point Stewie?" Brian asked rhetorically, "It's hopeless. I was a fool to think that my family could be something. We will be what we've always been. It's how it's supposed to be."

"Oh no you don't" Stewie began, "You're not about to give on me. That's not the Brian I know. The Brian I know would get to the bottom of this...and even if your family isn't something, you most certainly are, at least to me. That's enough."

Chris and Meg agreed full heartedly, "Come on Brian. Let's go!" they said in unison

"What about school?" Brian said to them, "You can't just miss a few days to go romping around the country with me."

Chris and Meg gave Brian a death stare, Ernie laughed and pulled out two letters of leave, one for Chris and one for Meg.

"How did you-?" Brian began but Ernie cut him off before he could finish

"Teacher" Ernie explained, "Now what do you say we go find that ancestor of yours?"

Brian sighed, he was almost convinced. "You realize that our families weren't very close." Brian warned, "We might find things about each other. Things that change us, do you want to risk that?"

Ernie huffed in disbelief, "Brian if there was any kind of evidence to dissuade me from our friendship I would've found it by now."

Brian was confused by this, and was waiting for an explanation, Ernie would never give it.

Five minutes later, Brian was sitting in the front seat of a red four door Ford pickup truck. Peter suggested that Brian get rid of the Prius to help with his image, so far it was working. Ernie was the passenger seat, Meg and Stewie were in the back seat and Chris took the flatbed.

"Alright" Stewie began, "What's William's last known location?"

Brian looked at the journal again, for he didn't exactly remember all the details. When he found it, he groaned in annoyance.

"Yorktown, Virginia" Brian answered

"What's so bad about Yorktown, Virginia?" Meg asked curiously

"My brother lives there" Brian replied, "We haven't been on good terms lately. Especially since Dad died."

Ernie shook his head and hit Brian as hard as he could, "Let's go!" he screamed.

Brian nodded fearfully, for the last thing that he wanted to do was get in front of a mad Ernie. Bad things happen.

Taking a left on Spooner Street, Brian turned on the radio, "My Way" by Frank Sinatra was playing. Ernie moved to change the station. Brian stopped him with a threatening growl

"Touch that dial and I pull into the nearest KFC" Brian warned

"Damn" Ernie mumbled under his breath

Stewie leaned in towards Ernie's ear, "He's not bluffing by the way" he said, "He will turn into the nearest KFC. Once I touched the dial when Sinatra was on and he took me to the Quahog Juvenile Detention Center. It was not pretty."

Ernie nodded and made a mental note to himself: Don't mess with Frank Sinatra.

They got on the highway within twenty minutes; traffic was backed up for the next ten miles due to rubbernecking drivers who just had to gawk at the fatal accident on the side of the road. Police cars and ambulances were already on the scene, several more were up and down the highway trying to get people to backup and take alternate routes. Joe Swanson, Peter's neighbor and cop below the Quahog Chief of Police, rolled his way up to Brian's car.

"Brian I'm going to have to ask you to back up" Joe began

Brian looked behind him and saw that he was several cars deep from the on ramp, it would be almost impossible for him to back up without making the other cars move. Brian sighed and turned back to Joe.

"What's the holdup Joe?" Brian asked curiously, "I've got to get to Virginia."

Joe looked south and squinted as if he could see the accident from where he was, he couldn't.

"What's in Virginia?" Joe asked, still looking in the direction of the accident

Brian looked to his right partially avoiding the question; he opened the car door and stepped outside. Joe was confused as to why Brian did this, but Brian explained himself by walking over to the back of the truck and getting inside the bed. Brian told Chris to get in the front seat, when this was done; Brian stood on top of the car and tried to see if he could find the accident.

"What are you doing Brian?" Joe asked, "I asked what was in Virginia?"

"Nothing" Brian answered, "literally nothing is in Virginia."

Joe rolled his eyes, "Ha, ha very funny. Now really what's in Virginia?"

Brian jumped out of the bed of the truck and opened the driver side door, Chris got in the back with Meg and Stewie.

"It's family business" Brian explained

Joe looked in the back of the truck, he was studying the kids. Ernie waved innocently at Joe, who only pulled out a clipboard and began making marks.

"Oh my God that's it we're going to get arrested" Ernie said to himself, "I can't get arrested. Do you know what they do to chickens to prison? They eat them! Either that or I'll become someone's prison bitch."

Ernie began laughing hysterically; he reached over Brian and stuck his head out of the driver's window. He was completely delusional.

"I'm too nice for prison" Ernie screamed at Joe, "I'm just a guy trying to help his friend man! What's the harm in that?"

Joe slapped Ernie as hard as he could, this did not phase Ernie in the slightest, for he was still extremely paranoid.

"That's the second time today!" Ernie cried, "I'm tired of getting slapped!"

Brian poked Ernie's shoulder; it was getting harder for him to breathe

"Ernie could please move?" Brian said, his voice muffled due to Ernie being on top of him, "I have a good amount of your feathers in my mouth and I can't really breathe. Oh and you smell like you've been on a farm."

Ernie nodded and began crying his eyes out, "It's my house okay! It's not exactly the best place right now, I don't have a job and I gotta pay my renter."

"You rent your house?" Stewie said from the backseat, "How sad can you get?"

"Very sad" Ernie answered, still in Brian's way.

"Ernie" Brian said once again, "If you don't move I'm going to bite. Three...two..."

Ernie moved back in the passenger seat, he was hyperventilating and starting to have a nervous breakdown. Meg reached over from her seat and began fanning him to try and get him to calm down. Chris meanwhile pulled out a water bottle and slowly brought it to Ernie's lips.

"Any particular reason why you kids aren't in school right now?" Joe asked curiously.

Brian, Chris, Meg and Stewie gave Joe a death stare, this did nothing for he gave them the exact same stare.

"It's okay" Ernie said, breathing heavily, "I'm their teacher..."

Ernie pulled out the letters of leave and handed them to Brian, who handed them to Joe.

"Tailvanni?" Joe said with surprise, "That's your last name?"

Ernie nodded, "It's a family name...but everyone just calls me the Giant Chicken. Easier to say and everything."

"How do you even say it?" Joe continued

Ernie rolled his eyes annoyingly for everyone was always asking him about his name, "It's Tail-a-von-e. It's not difficult."

Joe shrugged, "Yeah it kinda is."

Ernie huffed and got back on subject.

I'm Meg and Chris' history teacher, me and Brian are taking them to Virginia for a report. A really long report, we'll be gone for a few days. Probably the whole week..."

"You realize that I can't cover for you" Joe explained, "I've got too much on my plate right now. The Chief is riding on my ass."

Stewie laughed, "I didn't know you rolled that way Joe. So I guess Bonnie was just a front huh?"

Joe huffed annoyingly and walked away. Brian breathed a sigh of relief and honked his horn as he attempted to back out of traffic.

"Thanks Ernie" Meg said as she continued fanning him

Ernie smiled and looked out the window, a feeling of success washing over him, as if he were finally doing something right, something good with his life. This feeling stayed with him the whole day, when he fell asleep hours later a faint smile was still stretched across his face.


End file.
